مقال حول العلاقات الاجتماعية العاطفية الذي يهدف إلى مساعدة النساء بمعرفة إن كان شريكهم متاح عاطفيا أم لا، و كيف يتم فك التعلق بالشخص غير المتاح عاطفيا حتى يتسنى لهم إيجاد و جذب الرجل المتاح عاطفيا.

الكاتبة أمينة صريفق /الجزائر

   Nowadays, people form relationships based on false assumptions, yet they get frustrated when things do not work the way they want them to.

I will be so honored to present some of the reasons why people choose wrong.

There is a common expression one can find on Social media: ‘ emotionally unavailable and available men’.

Some couples complain about having stressful situations where they get confused if they have to stop this relationship, or keep going. Women usually ask me: am I dating a good or a bad guy?

In the early stages of any relationship, women have to pay attention to the words of their men, their behaviours, and actions as well.

 Does this person call, text, and try to reach you out? You have to know if your partner is making efforts, or is he just responding?

Sometimes, the way you feel about them hides their truth. You think it is a reciprocal love; however, it is one sided, not just in terms of feelings, but also in terms of attitudes.

So, you have to seperate the way you feel about someone from the way they feel about you. At times, giving your man space will create a chance for you to see things clearly between the two of you. Therefore, we suddenly and commonly see women cut their men off, and withdraw. Not only this, but they  realize that dating this type of men was a whole wrong thing. Actually the unavailability of men is awkward and spread. One of the most red flags of attracting unavailable men is the guy who appears and disappears. The one who shows up according to what serves him, and this latter often does not satisfy the woman. So, being treated based on someone’s mood swings is another red flag. In short, the mixed signals are a big red flag which stands for manipulation and tells you STOP.

What is the cost of being in this relationship?

If this relationship costs you your inner peace, mental or physical health, time, or your relationship with yourself, then let me tell you it is not worth keeping or fighting for.

So, there are some simple tips I would like to suggest as initial solutions:

One:  run away once you find out your partner is playing, and he is not serious enough. I know how hard it can be because losing interest in someone you love will take a long time. You can distract yourself by keeping yourself busy to forget about this man. It usually takes time to break the circle of attachement, but at the end, you will get the results you planned for.

Two: list the good and the bad things this guy did. Also, state the things he should have done, but he did not. On the other side, do not skip the things he did even though you asked him not to do. Make a comparison between  the cons and the pros of this person. I am sure you will make the decision you and I are thinking of which is: letting him go.

Three: find yourself hobbies to practice daily. Go and hang out with good friends who will empower you to stop loving your man rather than supporting you to do more mistakes. Be aware of who you allow into your life because companions are so important. If you have positive friends who will notify your flaws in relationship choices, you have to keep them. On the contrary, if you have bad friends who will encourage you to handle the toxic behaviors of your man by telling you to ignore his flaws when you know you should not, you have to cut them off immediately.

Four: Know your strong and weak points. By recognizing your weaknessess, you will be able to notice whether the guy is enjoying your company or using you. Your strengths help you to retrieve your self-confidence. One thing you have to learn is your dignity, self-esteem, and pride are more important than your feelings.

Six: Remind yourself of the way you were before knowing this man, and the way you become.

 Are you getting any better, or are you feeling any worse?

    If this guy brings too many troubles, headache, anxiety, depression, doubts, paranoia, and many of the things one cannot appreciate, this obviously means you are dealing with the wrong person. So, you should put a full stop instead of a pause.

   There are many beneficial tips to get over an unavailable man you once had, or you still have in your life.

Now, after you broke your boundaries and lowered your standards for someone who did not love you back, it is time to seek a good partner.

  So many women think that losing the person they love is to be regarded the end of the world, but it is not.

Quitting the wrong guy, and giving yourself sufficient time for healing will open doors for you to seek healthy relationahips only.

You will learn how to not invest in the people who do not do the same.

Attracting emotinally available men is simpler than any woman can ever imagine.

 Wrong choices lead to right choices. Choosing wrong men lead to choose right men and know what is the best for you. So, every time you connect with a guy, you will consider principles rather than feelings.

 In the next relationship, you will search for: respect, loyalty, committment, care, love, consistency, maturity, trust, and many more of the good criteria.

   Last but not least, Bear in mind that emotionally available men are so easy to get; they will provide you the good environment to explain yourself. They text you even when they are busy, not when they are free only. The difference is obvious; the right man will provide you emotional support and safety.

 In short, if you are ever stuck in a relationship where you do not know your position as a woman, you must quit it before the situation takes another turn